I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s been thrilled at all the good press that polyamory has been getting lately. I’m seeing articles about what polyamory is, some of the myriad ways that people practice it, and, more recently, how to not be an asshole to your polyamorous friends. That’s nice! I like it when people are not an asshole to me and mine.
The trouble is that I’m also seeing a lot of monogamous people express that they have a rightfully-earned bad impression of polyamory. It’s not that they’re threatened or insecure about it, the way a homophobe acts when confronted with the upsetting fact that gay people exist. This is more of a garden-variety irritation, inspired by an association of polyamory with smug, more-evolved-than-thou grandstanding.
It’s a well-earned reputation. I am no stranger to That Poly Person, having myself been poly for over a decade and no longer able to think of it as some kind of big deal. I’ve seen a lot of well-meaning people fall into the trap of making polyamory a topic that mono folks would rather gloss over.
So how do you avoid being That Poly Person? I’m glad you asked.